Aina Carafi- Going for what you desire
Hallo my name is Aina Carafi I’m from Barcelona, I’m 24 years old and I am a multidisciplinary artist. I do a bit of everything.
From fashion design, I paint write poetry and than I mix it all up.
Share with us a transformative moment
I guess when I decided to leave my partner at the time, with who I had been in a relationship for five years and made the decision to move to the opposite side of the world. And it was there where I had an experience of self exploration. This was in Canada, Montreal.Hahah (LOL) Sometimes I forget about the important things…
I have always felt that I am a very sexual person, very involved with my sexuality, very conscious..and the fact that I spend that much time with the same partner makes me suppose that it limited myself allot, in some aspects.
And in Montreal it was like a rediscovery of my sexuality, my personality and I met a lot of people who inspired me incredibly. I had many encounters with people that helped me see things in a different way. And there is where I started painting, really. I went to a fashion school there where all classes where very very technical. Business, patronage everything was very technical and those are subjects I don’t like and there is where I started to feel like something was missing. I was missing something I had experienced in my first year of university.
That creativity, that theatre and that is when I started working on small scale paintings and started creating and other things and it grew from there.
How was it like growing up in your body
Growing up being curvaceous, honestly wasn´t always easy. It’s not easy in the sense that, especially in adolescence you are very worried about your what others might think about you.
Especially the „in puts“ of information we receive about what is right and what is wrong. And I guess that I as well most of the girls my age I know and have this prototype of body in some moment or another we have suffered, maybe not a disorder but certainly a fixation or obsession with trying to fit into certain canons.
And even beyond the premature sexualisation of our bodies before being adolescent. The boys pointing and being like „ Oh! Look at that girl with the tits! or reducing you to your breasts like „ Yeah, the one with the tits“ Aina the one with the tits with fifteen sixteen years of age. And I guess those are the things that leave a mark on you.
And I guess that through this period of wanting to be skinny like the rest, or to have a smaller cup size of things to feel easier.This experience makes me reclaim my body and be a bit critical with these kind of themes.
Share a difficult time you went through and what tools got you out
Before I got into studying fashion design I was studying microbiology. All my life I have been studying science based materials. I have always been a good student. Aiming towards medicine, towards what is „ correct“… I found myself in the third university year and started feeling like there something that wasn’t flowing right, something wasn’t working. But it was like I didn’t really want to accept the truth, that everything I had invested up until that point wasn’t going to be of worth to me.
Well…not that it didn’t have value but It just wasn’t the path I shouldn’t continue. I felt that I needed to go through a transformation.
I had always liked photography and other creative fields and so I decided I would have to tell my parents that I wouldn’t finish my studies. The I had to quit. And I was so afraid to have to tell them. I was like „ whoa“ what image will I give of myself. But I did it I confronted the situation and it became a very gratifying experience because the answer I got was amazing.
It became rather funny because,I told my parents being very worried : „ I don’t want to continue with this, this doesn’t feel right to me..“ and there answer was like : „ We where waiting of you to tell us“
It seems as if everybody could already see that but I was the last to realize. Sometimes oneself doesn’t want to see certain things about oneself.
So in the end it din’t turn out to be that difficult.
The transit from one stage to the other was the difficult part. To get to that conclusion that informed my decision.
What does being a woman mean to you ?
To me being a woman means to be very strong. Yes , I don’t know , when I think about it that is what comes to mind. To be strong. To take on a lot of things. Even though it might not seem like it…well I mean it does, we are constantly under attack. More so than attacked, conditioned, I would say.
And to live day by day with doubts in the back of your mind on how you should act, how you should be and what is correct. It might sound silly but it’s really not easy. You have to be very strong to deal with that. So I would say that being a woman means being strong. Strong and powerful !
What would you tell your 14 year old self ?
Right now I would tell myself no two be stupid, that I should’t let myself be influenced by what other people might think about me. That that is the least important.
Why is it so important to love oneself ?
Why is it so important to love onself… I think it’s fundamental. If you’re not capable of loving yourself, it obviously doesn’t mean that they can’t love you, but I think that on will never be happy enough, not with yourself or who ever you are sharing your life with.
I think it is very important to be conscious about who you are, how you are, what you want and to accept yourself. More than loving yourself, accepting yourself, as a person. And be able to share this with other people so they accepts you as well. I think that I every important.
What I love the most about me…?
That in all moments I’m me I guess.That I never try to be something I don’t want to be. I don’t like saying that I’m very authentic but I would say I’m „true to myself“ …that I’m conscious. I don’t know how to say this… That I’m loyal to myself.That’s what i like about myself.