Vita Thorpe – The value of simply being
I’m Vita and I’m from Texas on the Golf Coast, a very small tiny town of 500 people, I guess. What everybody think Louisiana looks like but is actually Texas. I probably don’t want to say my age..but I’m young!
I was living in a lot of places really transient and I had a young boy and I have this great job of being a stay at home mom, but it’s really boring to literally stay at home. So as I had means and I could do it…I started to travel around. I kinda look at a map and went like OK : „ Jude ( her son) is about two, he speaks Spanish, which is weird, I didn’t at all. And let’s go to Spain. So I took the map of Spain. Madrid looks amazing , but it’s in the middle of nowhere, and I can’t really be in the middle of nowhere. So I choose Barcelona. I kinda heard some stuff on the playground that Barcelona was the place and we’ve been here for eight years
Share a transformative moment with us.
There is not one transformative moment. I think my life is full of transformative moments. We can say that the most major and most influential moment that transformed my life is probaly just being born. In a sense that I was born to a mother with bipolar. So living and dealing with that, growing up with that is quit transformative. And I have a brother we were born on the exact same day but eight years apart. So we took that thing in completely different ways. But it’s been really useful because seeing the world through somebody who is literally insane can be , let say, eye awakening. But it builds strength and character and it is literally the thing that has made me sort of fearless. I think a lot of people would say having a kid or doing a move but those were also transformative but everything in layers.That was the major on let say.
On being a mother:
Being a mother is obviously a transformative moment first of all because you transform your body and that’s weird. I was really, to be honest , really uncomfortable pregnant. I didn’t feel like it was blissful „ Oh my god it’s amazing“. It was just a pain in the ass. Like you body is doing weird stuff..and why is that growing over there. And than Jude came, and he was premature. He was born like 7 and 1/2 months and he weighed about one kilo and a half, maybe. So he was in an incubator for two weeks. He was this little hairy Curious Gorge monkey looking thing. And I though „ What is that ?“ I hope he’s smart. He is smart ( smile).
But it’s amazing that in a moment when you think that..When you’re pregnant you’re reading all these books about how to be a mother you’re asking loads of questions, you think you need so many things and than the baby comes out an you like SNAPS FINGERS „ Click“ Yeah, I’m good I don’t need you to hold my baby I don’t need you. You don’t need help from anybody.You know how to do everything. And you’ve got this thing and it’s totally dependant on you. And for the first time in your life. Nothing has ever been so dependent. That part is pretty incredible..and so I think I didn’t have that in the beginning what mothers say. You’re so in love…No I was like useful to him. I was a necessity for him. So I worked in that way in the beginning where he was like literally an extended life line for him and has he got older and his personality grew. I can tell you know. Jude is 10 years old. I spent an entire decade with him. Which is amazing.That his character has been completely set since he was born.
So he was in that incubator super observant, really aware and that has continued until now.
So from one, one and a half two years old I remember him touching something or climbing on something he wasn’t supposed to . So you have to discipline him. So now I have this chair here. I’m gonna use that to discipline him. „So Jude , you have to sit there .“ And I put a timer. 3 minutes. there minutes for a normal child is and eternity. So I put it there and Jude would sit after the alarm went off „ Bling“ The time was up.Three minutes. „ No you can get up and play.“ And he goes „ No, I’m going to sit here.“And he would sit there for 45 minutes an you want him to get up, so it works in the opposite way. So this is the child that I have until now.That never changed. But he’s really cool, and really flexible and really easy going and he is unbelievably loving.Which is clearly something that I needed in my life because I can be quit cold, but he is the most lovable warm being I could possibly know.
About difficult moment and how you got through it :
I think that I don’t consider things so difficult. I have kind of always looked towards the light. That dark difficult. I’m not really down. There have obviously been obstacles in my life, but even those, I found myself quite sure… I have always been OK with myself. And something I took from when I was a child. I’m going to tell you a story from when I was five years old. I was five years old I have the head full of really curly hair and my mother is quit fair skinned and all the of my mothers side of the family is all quite fair skinned. But I’m not. And everybody was constantly commenting how dark I was. I grew up in Texas. It’s sunny I’m out all the time. And comments on how tightly curled my hair was and I remember sitting in a class room and a kid pulling it ( a curl) and springing back. And it was so much fun for everybody to do that. Ok , like Solange „ Don’t touch my hair „ We get it . Like don’t touch my hair.
And also the thing of just being dark, which to me is like: This is so great. I mean I don’t know I love it. And I have always loved my dark skin, there are darker, there are many different shades of. I never understood these things. So I look at live from my five year old point of view. I don’t see an issue with anything that is going on with you or me anybody around. We are all different, that’s cool. I am just trying to move forward in the best way that I can. And so , there are so many situations in life, there are so many worse situations in life, you can always find a good in everything. I can find the positive in the darkest moments of growing up with my mother. I can always find the light and I think probably most..If you talk to any of my friends and if you ask them about my mother you wouldn’t know that she was so ill, so dark and so god awful most of the time because that is not important, those parts. She couldn’t help it. So I’m always looking for the positive spin in life because that exists.That’s absolutely feasible in every single day. There is so many good things I really don’t have time to focus on anything difficult in life.
What would you tell your fourteen year old self ?
Oh! That’s good…I would tell my fourteen year old self, definitely get the hell out of Bloomington Texas, cause there definitely nothing there !
I would tell my fourteen year old self, to relax and to be more loving and warm.To be open to other peoples warmth and kindness and care is really important in life and I think it takes you really far.
What do I like about me most ?
Well..! I think I’m alright.( LOL)
That’s a really embarrassing question…
I think that I am a really good friend and I’m quit loyal and reliable.I like that about myself a lot .
I’m kinda smiley and chipper and you know I don’t want to bring anybody down, I want bring you up.That’s me I don’t know, I like that part about me.
…alot goes through food, it’s a thing that anybody needs, so I really love that and I love to gather.I love gathering.Yeah…I love that about me. I’m a gatherer.